Nurses are the first to touch the lives of people post surgery and when the doors of your hospital room close, the relationship with your nurse can feel like a lifeline. It can be a very emotional time viewing your adjusted body, and in those first few days, a difficult and lonely place. You share intimately with the nurse who cares for your stoma, checks your output  and tends to your incision. When you lay exposed and vulnerable, the caring hands of your nurse and confident touch can have a profound impact.

This week I was a guest speaker during my daughter’s presentation on Crohn’s and Colitis in her High School Health Class. I’ve shared my story with many people over the years, but never before a group that was not directly affected by Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD). Talking with people who relate to the shame and fear is one thing, but sharing this deeply personal story to my daughters’ peers was an entirely different experience. It was another first, another milestone, and another moment of knowing I have this crazy ileostomy for a reason.

When I faced the group the reality of how long IBD has affected my life was intense. I was just a little older than them when I started to feel the life altering affects of Ulcerative Colitis. I will be honest, going in I didn’t know how a group of teenagers would respond to my condition. As lead by their open minded teacher, they listened respectfully and I went for it and shared it all. I pulled out a pouch and showed them how the appliance works (with my clothes on of course) and told them stories of misery and isolation. I spared no details and allowed them to ask me questions. I spoke of my confidence and belief that I can do anything. I also shared how some people I try to support are so disgusted at their own body changes, that they see me in an equally dark light.

I am also very proud that both my teenagers were comfortable with me exposing such a private part of our life. Family is affected profoundly by illness and my girls know it first hand. We’ve had plenty of emergencies because of medical complications and I’ve become dehydrated so many times that a bottle of Gatorade sets panic in the eyes of my girls – it means a trip to the ER for IV fluids is near. Seeing a parent weak is nothing a child should ever face, but for my girls, they have moved through it with privacy and poise.

The swing side of living through fearful situations is the story of resilience and grace. When you have a bowel disease, feeling confident doesn’t come easily and depression and isolation are common. My girls have at times been burdened with a bedridden mother and one who has said goodbye many times for mysterious and scary visits to the hospital. My daughters are lovely and in spite of all they have experienced, they are strong. They live with dignity despite the strangeness of having a Mum without a colon and all the “baggage”, stigmas and bad jokes that comes with it.

This generation of young adults that are open to talking about anything. I thank them for inviting me in and to their teacher for helping create awareness. I left the visit, feeling inspired to do more.

To the Class of 2010 – Thanks for having so much class.

Karen

Presentation is everything. Sometimes the simplest gifts bring the most light to the day. Recently, I spent the weekend blissfully lounging on a sunny deck with close friends. As always, we easily come together with baskets of food and drinks - but never an agenda. I took this shot of the light catching the last moments of our time together through rainbow colored glasses. Nothing soothes the soul like lounging for hours with friends that love you.

Write it in your heart that every day is the best day of the year.

- Emerson

When I was in the hospital recovering from ostomy surgery, I was very low emotionally. Despite my attempts to cope, some days I just couldn’t muster up a smile, and felt little comfort in the smiles of others. Some days I felt shame, dull sadness or simply felt sorry for myself.

One day, perhaps on a whim, my parents brought me an artist’s figure. This simple gift turned out to be a coping mechanism for me, helping me face the day. Not only did I spend hours bending and twisting it’s joints, this figure became a tool for communication – acting as a barometer for those that entered my life and my room. Each day I would pose it to reflect my mood. Typically the form’s head was low, or arms crossed, some days the face was in the hands or cradling it’s belly. Other days I lay it face down flat on it’s stomach - something I imaged I would never do again.

One day the fog of my misery cleared and I felt hopeful. I thought about sketching my little wooden friend and about all the other things I would do once I was released and able to restart my life anew. I’ll never forget that day my parents entered my room and saw my little figure, back arched and arms stretched – palms up to the sky. They smiled knowing I’d turned the corner. 

Get one for someone you love who’s suffering. It’s the simple things that can turn the day around.

Start the new year with an artful reminder of what’s most important – being yourself. Become who you wish to be this year. Find this print and other whimsical inspiration art at Etsy

Feeling down today? Here are some tips that may help:

Make some strides: Walking is a mood lifter and a change of scenery is enough of a shift to take your mind off heavier issues. Plus it’s good for you and can help work off some of that Halloween candy.
 
Hit the sack earlier: Get some shut eye. Everyone is better off. I know I head to cranky-cranksville and everything seems tougher when I’m tired. Pillow lumpy? Room stuffy? Fresh air and a new pillow do wonders for a good night’s sleep.
 
Clean up your act: De-clutter the spaces around you. Piles of paper and life’s bits and pieces are reminders of all you need to do. Keep a notepad handy to get thoughts out of your head and consolidate your to-do lists. Clear the mind!

Tune in to some music to elevate your mood. It’s amazing how my mind wanders to softer thoughts as music plays in the background. Everything is better with music in my opinion. Songs send me to memories or allow me to drift away from the chores at hand. Linger in the lyrics and enjoy.
 
In scent-ify your home. With all the aromatherapy options out there, anyone can find a scent that relaxes, energizes or improves the surroundings. Lavender is my favorite for relaxation, and lemony fragrances boost my energy. Vanilla is a wonderful scent too. Create a spa scented feeling in your home with diffusers or candles.

I just found a bargain on these fantastic soy tin candles. 10 hour burn for just $3.95. mi™ offers more than 40 spellbinding bath and body products. The line’s luxurious indulgence awakens the senses with its intoxicating Asian-inspired scents from sensuous sake to the aromatic tropical scents of dreamy coconut lemongrass and sweetly-refreshing Yuzu. “We created our skin care line with the simplest natural ingredients for restoring tranquility to one’s chaotic lifestyle,” says mi SPA founder Mimie Wong.

Read Mimie’s story of how she was “Inspired by the thought of renewing our senses and achieving inner balance”

Some days even when the sun’s out, we need a little extra protection to weather the day. I tend to hibernate this time of year and call it “going underground”. When I do get up and out though, I always feel better.

Take a walk today even if it’s just into your backyard or down the block. Focus on your breathing and notice how other thoughts vanish, if only for a moment. I’ve missed some wonderful days due to illness or surgery, so I understand needing the rain check.  Sometimes, it all feels like too much. Treat yourself gently if you can’t get motivated, but consider a little fresh air. Opening the door is a good start, just take a deep breath and see where it leads you.

Fall is here in the Northwest and as my winter pots got re-potted by some loving friends recently, I was reminded of all of the gifts in my life. It would have been easy for me to wallow in depression, I had plenty to feel low about after spending 6 days in the hospital for having a serious obstruction. After having an ostomy for so long, I feel pretty sure I know what to eat, but now and then, I’ll get thrown for a loop when my remaining intestine get kinked and refuse to allow passage. Rest, pain meds and lots of visits from my friends and family and I am home on the mend.

Ask For Help if you need it. The people in your life will feel helpless but want to reach out to nurture you. Stay close to home and allow them to tend to some chores to beautify your surroundings. After mentioning my dying summer porch plants, my dear friends arrived with warm drinks to sip as I bundled up on my deck and they winterized my plants for fall. Now when I open my front door I have a fresh outlook, more than just the flowers in my pots.