How often do I think about my bowel bag?
Enough to write about it in journals for 12 years. And another 15 before that, documenting my illness, disregard of my illness, depression and exhilaration. Adventures and stories. Research and library visits (before the internet) had me reading up on all the things I’d be able to do when I got my bowel bag but I found all of that hard to believe. I didn’t find any of it funny either. Couldn’t joke about feces exiting out my belly. I’m mean how ridiculous and upsetting. And how could I ever feel safe and secure in any aspect of my life. Well, the journey is in the journal. And now, I think, I’ll give it a real go and blog some of my moments. Dig a little deeper into some more private places. I’m going to take more risks. This pile of journals is only a sampling of my books of pain and prose, joy and remembrance. Attempts to document my life in a way that would be honest. Sometimes so scary I’d start writing in one journal only to switch halfway through a thought or story to another book and not date anything. Those were years where my trust was broken. It’s all here though, in these piles. Bits and drips of my thoughts, then sudden outpourings of emotion. Not always about my body changes and medical moments, but about the feelings and fear. The change, the resurfacing to a new normal. Me. Mine. mykarekit. The whole kit and kaboodle if you will.
So read on if you feel like it and I hope it brings you some connection you might need. Otherwise, maybe my photographs will bring a sense of whimsy or reflection. We’ll see because 2011 is going to be the year of the blog for me. I’m ready. No time like today.
What should I call my ramblings that have me typing well past midnight. Did you hear about the midnight rambler? Everybody’s got to go. I just go all the time..anytime…unannounced.
Random Pages from the Ostomy Journal
Notes from the Hospital Bed
I’m your sister’s neighbor’s aunt
“What kind of bag would you like?” Got no choice.
Should I take questions? That always works well in public talks I’ve given. Far more interesting to tell you what you want to know and answer your concerns from my perspective. It’s refreshing. Drop me a line on my About Me Page